When down.. get right back up!

Ya know those days where it seems like you are just down,physically,emotionally,spiritually?

I rarely have them..

BUT when I do man it sucks!

I feel as if im missing something in life,

like a part of me is yearning for some grand adventure,

A part of me just wants to move far far away..

as if moving two states away isnt far or hard enough?

I just feel so displaced.

I feel like a part of me is somewhere else.

They say home is where the heart is..

My home is with my family in Fresno Ca on Cromwell st..

But I learned a long time ago

That home is where you make it to be..

So why cant I make Orem Ut my home?

Hmm I have been asking myself that for almost a month now..

It is hard to start over..

No one here understands my sense of humor, my morals,my taste of music, me, what makes me happy, why I do the things I do

etc etc..

Figuring out how to open up and be me 100% is hard..

I am one of the most loyal people you will ever meet..doesnt make me better, its

just who I am.. but in life I have been hurt so much I put walls up..

I now am trying to choose carefully who I give my friendship and loyalty too..

Who I let see me..

Like it or dislike it..thats what I have chosen..

Sooo now that I am here, and pondering on life, my struggles, and my journey

I want to reflect..

I want to think positive.. and happily.So that I can get outta this funk??

So what do I do when im down?

I call my loved ones, check..

I think of the things I love in life..

I love..

My family, and the long talks we have on road trips..

Holding hands with my best girlfriends..

Frozen yogurt..

The smell and sound of rain,im talking a really great thunderstorm like the ones from my mission..

The feeling after a great workout..

A full tank of gas in my car..

MAC makeup..

A really great yawn, and stretch..

Laying in the bed of a truck gazing at stars..

A great study of my scriptures..

Snuggling up to a fresh pile of clean warm clothes straight outta the dryer..

My dogs..

Sitting in the parking lots of temples while listening to church music..

A long scenic drive in my car while music blasts..

Seeing couples be affectionate..

Taking and looking at pictures..

A great celebrity gossip magazine..

Helping others in anyway.ie service..

Cheap jewelry..

Working on cars with my daddy..

Laughing at the dumbest things that arent funny to anybody else..

Dancing..

Shooting guns..

Watching others cook/bake..

Swimming..

A great pair of high heels..

Laying in bed with my parents watching tv..

Reminiscing of my mission..

Dressing up..

Trees any kind but esp. dogwood trees and red woods..

Orchids..

Stealing my dad and brother sweatshirts..

Hair accesories..

A guy that smiles alot..

Watching my mom be a goof to make me laugh..

Texting people happy messages..

Intelligent people..

A great book..

The gospel..

Spooning and snuggling with loved ones..

People that are quiet.socially awkward.nerdy..

Fishing..

Facebook..

Playing in the mud..

Long hot baths and then at the end switching it to shower mode and letting the hot water fall on my back..

People telling me their life stories..

Missionaries..

Crazy people (like literally off their rocker crazy)..

Scrap booking..

A great arm and back massage..

Connecticut..

Rhode Island..

Oregon..

Animals any kind..

Learning..

Different cultures and religions..

Holistic medicine..

Organic food..

People that are the opposite of me..

Youtube..

Eternal families..

Red lipstick..

Spending hours in Barnes and Noble with a ton of diff books that catch my eye..

Babies..

Children with autism..

Painting..

Water..

When people play with my hair..

Staying up late and sleeping in..

Gardening..

Romance..

People that arent afraid to be themselves..

Deep conversations about anything..

Playing in a bed of leaves..

Adventures..

Old people..

Watching horses run in the wild..

Picking dandelions and blowing them into the wind..

Laying on a blanket watching clouds drift by..

Fashion..

P90X..

Boldness..

Being organized..

Painting my nails..

Hippies..

The way life used to be simple..

Kind people..

The Mountains..

Roller coasters..

Observing little kids imaginations as they play..

Candy..

Walking through the model homes of new housing developments..

Making weird noises with my mouth..

Being 50% tomboy and 50% womanly woman..

Cleaning the kitchen..

Warm baked choc chip cookies that are soft..

And most importantly..

My Savior, my Shepherd,my Lord,my God, my King,

And my Heavenly father!

See.. now I feel better =)

Well it has been exactly one month since I last wrote in here. I know... I know... Im sorry! I know some of you have been asking about my life. The rest of you know whats up since I talk to you alot. So just an update... YES I finished the Master Cleanse.I felt so0o0o0 good after it. I learned alot from that event. It was hard only the first couple of days and once I got to day 4 it was pretty smooth after that.I ended up losing 10 lbs and another 5lbs since then.. Not too shabby eh?

Ok on to the next topic on my mind....

Ok so im in Utah now!Yup 3 WEEKS ..I am liking it alot. Its definitely different from Cali..

A good different.

Heres a thought on my mind... Why are people so cliquey?

I mean ALOT of people here are very into just sticking to their little group.

Whatever happened to making friends?

Going out of your way to help and befriend others?

My whole life I am usually the one that has to go up to people and initate a convo.

Not that I mind doing that... but when you're the new girl in town where is everyone?

I guess I just wont ever understand that kind of mindframe.I miss Fresno & Heritage YSA Ward!

Its ok because although I might walk a lonely road, the Savior is by me every step of the way.I am always blessed at the end of the day.

One last thought... at times it might seem like life can be unbearable,unfair,sucky, and downright hardddd...

BUT..

Guess what?

Elder Henrey B Eyring said in a conference talk from 2 or 3 years ago(paraphrasing) that our challenges are our time to prove ourselves to God. It is not only a time to show him what we are made of and grow.. but a time to show him how we handle the trial. How do we handle our trials?Do we do it grudgingly, bitter, and angry.. or humbly,readily, and ferventley?

Im not perfect, and I have so much to learn, so much room to grow, im so human and carnal... HOWEVER...I am so grateful for my trials for they refine me.

NEWHOO...O'doyll RULES! ;)